Yeah, it's 12 am, and I should be asleep. I should have been asleep 2 hours ago, but I'm not. I should have been studying Stats if anything, but I didn't.
No, I read JD Salinger stories instead. I didn't realize it until I read 9 Stories, but I love Salinger short stories. I loved Catcher in the Rye when I was in 7th grade too. I guess I just find Salinger to be a really good writer. He keeps this dark yet hopeful or funny tone around his stories. It's very odd but also very fulfilling. His stories also deal a lot with the confused emotions in people, especially adolescents. It really makes me think. When I see his characters interact, I wonder if I'm not like that too. I have those moments of depression, of (hopefully) kindness, of happiness that comes out of laughing at myself, and of course, of arrogance.
Looking back a De Daumier Smith's Blue Period, I really empathize with Salinger's story now. It's sad, kind of. I wish I could use melancholy to describe myself, but it's not even that type of feeling. I feel pathetic. Like nothing will go my way, and I'm the cause. I feel like I need a little escape, just a little bit of escapism, to get away from myself. Take a ride up to Canada, haha. Have that epiphany to bring me back. Or just stay here, in this useless skin, behind this cowardly mask, and walk through life as an endless cycle of boredom.
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