Last Day

High school ended today. A somber, pensive mood finally set in. Perhaps it's melancholy. I love that word, melancholy. And you know what note it ended on? The Breakfast Club. Oliver said he didn't understand it, but I think I did. It is a beautiful movie to close high school.

Here's the gist of it. Five kids go through an intense experience together, learning about each other and bonding with each other during Saturday school. The movie closes without anything about Monday. Sure, the question is asked about what happens Monday, and it's beautifully open ended, but that's not what I care about. What happens... happens. I understand, that as sad as this may be (an here my heart drops and my eyes wet), we won't be as close as we are now. We won't see each other as much. We'll make new friends and move on.

And god damnit, why aren't I as sad as I should be? I should be bawling my eyes out. But haven't I done this before? I've moved four times already and had to remake new friends. I've met great people every single time, and I've cried about lost friends before. So why aren't I doing it now? A little wetness isn't good enough, you know that you heartless bastard? Yeah. I know. 

And when Monday comes, you'll have made an impression on my heart, my memories, my mind. I'll miss all of you deeply, and I can't repeat it enough. Four years would have been unbearable without you, and the only reason I looked forward to school was you. Summers felt too long without you. Am I being too sentimental right now? 

Whatever. Look, the point is, that intense experience left an irremovable imprint on me, and shaped me for who I am. I can't believe that this time is coming to a close. I can't believe I won't be able to complain about classes with you, joke about Starcraft with you, sleep in class with you, and hang out after school with you. And now, we're leaving, being blown across the world. I'll miss you.

But here's what I learned from The Breakfast Club and from sociology. We, humans, are social beings. That intense experience would be nothing without you. You gave high school meaning to things it wouldn't have otherwise. You gave high school purpose in its monotony. You gave high school life where it had none before. You carved out my experience, and I'm thankful that you did. You saved me from this prison, and let's admit it, that's what high school is without friends. It's a prison. But with friends, it becomes singing, laughter, complaints, and joy. 

And now, we're done. We're done. Is this goodbye? I don't know. I hope not. 

Can I cry now?